Preschoolers Q & A

Afraid of Shadows Because our four-year-old son has become very afraid of shadows, we have to leave a couple of lights on all night — not just a night light. To reassure him, we have said that shadows can’t hurt you, they aren’t ghosts or monsters, and he should try telling the things that scare him to “get out of my house.” Do you have any other suggestions?
Coping with Grief Our cat died a few months ago and shortly after that, three fish died in quick succession. Lately my five-year-old has been obsessing about our dog, and she keeps insisting he’s not going to die — ever. How can I help her deal with her grief and understand that sometimes pets die?
Imaginary Play My three-year-old has changed her name to Alice from Alice in Wonderland, and will not answer to anything else. This is not just at home, but at preschool and with other family members. She can get very upset and aggressive if you insist she is not Alice.
Acting Like A Dog Our three-year-old son thinks he’s a dog. He barks, howls, eats off the floor and likes to wear a dog leash on his pants to make a tail. He’ll eat dog food and dog treats, if he can get them. We always ask him to stop and even put him in time out, but it doesn’t seem to make a difference.
Aggressive Behavior From a very young age, my four-year-old son has had aggression issues. When he was a toddler, his doctor assured me that his biting was normal, but my son started school this year and I’m afraid he’s turning into the class bully. He also seems to enjoy pulling my hair and pinching me, and will usually lash out verbally when I tell him to stop. His behaviour worries me and I’m considering having him psychologically evaluated. Do you have any advice?
When Kids Hurt Themselves My 3½-year-old has recently begun pinching herself hard enough to raise angry welts on her face and the backs of her hands. She’s just started junior kindergarten and I believe she may be feeling stressed.
Bathroom Door Policy We’ve always had an open-bathroom-door policy with our son, who is now four. At what point does it become inappropriate to dress or undress in front of your child?
Angry and Aggressive Emotions My five-year-old son is continually taking and destroying things that don’t belong to him. He takes my makeup out of the bathroom, his sister’s iPod, whiteout from his teacher’s desk at school — anything he can get his hands on. This has been going on since he was about two.
Understanding Death My daughter recently passed away and now I am raising her children. The three-year-old boy is my main concern. He’s been potty trained for a while, but has started wetting the bed again, says no all the time, and doesn’t talk about his mom. How can I help him?
Peep Shows My five-year-old son has been caught playing “show and tell” with his genitals on several occasions, with two girls who are seven. While I don’t believe my son is completely innocent, I find these girls are incessantly trying to get him alone. I have spoken to my son, the girls and their parents, but can’t figure out how to make the behaviour stop. I’m running out of ideas and I don’t want to overreact.
Twirling Hair My five-year-old daughter has played with her hair since she was a baby, twirling it as a form of comfort. However, in the past six months or so, she has taken to pulling it out in clumps. As far as I can tell, nothing is bothering her.